Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Before And After

One of my side bar items is titled "Before and After, how the past can change the future". I've only written a few posts on this subject. I'm not sure if that's because of lack of inspiration or if I've not really thought too much about it lately. However, every time my parents come to visit I am reminded of how much the past really does effect the future!

I've been going through my "memory box" that they brought to me this trip. (Which somehow expanded to four boxes over the years!) Baby shower well wishes, kindergarten papers, third grade reports, newspaper clippings, scads of programs from the years of recitals and performances, journals kept in teenage script, pictures, letters from dear ones, pressed flowers, pointe shoes and keepsakes, have all dusted off corners of my mind that have been closed for quite some time now. I've always been sentimental and yet I try to be a "live in the now" kind of person. This week though I've let myself slip back. Some of the memories have been beautiful, others deeply painful, but all of them have been a sweet reminder of Him.

I've not journaled much recently, but today I lay on my bed journaling away like I did as a teen. How different my scroll is now years later, and the ink rolls from my pen in interrupted strokes. The difference is not just in how I write, or about whom, but rather the security with which I address the page. You see, like everyone of us I was a searching teenager. (What I thought I was looking for, I'm not quite sure!) The words that filled the pages were daily happenings, emotional trappings and more often than not, questions... more than once I penned "I'm so confused".

Fifteen years of experiences later, I'm not confused anymore. The same Truth that I was looking for then is ever present in my life right now. I knew Him to be True then, but I had to have years of dependence upon that Truth to really trust it. It's strength had not been fully tested and It's power was not fully known (still isn't!). But isn't that the beauty of this life? We have the freedom and the ability to completely make our own choices, to listen to the wisdom of those who have gone before, or to rely totally & completely on an invisible safety net...

I wouldn't trade my teen years for anything. Every experience in my life has lead me to where I am now and it is a very good place. The pain has made me stronger and the good memories bolster me in making good memories with my own children.

I would encourage you to take the time every now and then to take a look back... if you let it, it can change your future!




tuesdays unwrapped at cats

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