What Great Hair Tells Me....

Today I fear I'm going to greatly embarrass my mom. She recently gave me a bunch of pictures to scan in the computer and hopefully scrapbook. This picture of her is one of my all time favorites! Pictured with her is my oldest sister and my brother (who greatly favors my son in this picture).

But what I most wanted to point out was my mom's great hair!

Isn't it the coolest? She worked as a hair stylist full time when she graduated from high school and then cosmetology school.  I think it's evident in how incredibly perfect her hair is in this picture.  I wish it were in full color so you could see the great highlights as well, but the black and white also lends to the nostalgic quality of this photo.  Every time I look at this picture I swell up with pride.  That's MY mom!  At the time a single mother of two small children, & she took the time to do her hair and look her best.  (And not just for the picture! She looked like this all the time... amazing!)  She inspires me to do better and to do more.
  It makes me reflect not just on my own hairdo (90% of the time, a ponytail.) but also what my kids will think when they look back on "old" photos of me  The song Legacy comes to my mind and it reminds me that this job I have is so much bigger than me; so much bigger than the here and now. When I look into the eyes of my oldest child I see myself reflected back in a mirror image that is 26 years younger, 26 years more innocent, 26 years more child like, and I wonder what will she be thinking as she approaches her 32nd birthday? Sometimes I marvel at how my biggest accomplishment so far in this life has happened so completely outside of me!!! He is so faithful.  No matter what my hair looks like, or how not put together I feel sometimes,

 if I leave a legacy in this world it will not be because of me; it will be in spite of me!

Before And After

One of my side bar items is titled "Before and After, how the past can change the future". I've only written a few posts on this subject. I'm not sure if that's because of lack of inspiration or if I've not really thought too much about it lately. However, every time my parents come to visit I am reminded of how much the past really does effect the future!

I've been going through my "memory box" that they brought to me this trip. (Which somehow expanded to four boxes over the years!) Baby shower well wishes, kindergarten papers, third grade reports, newspaper clippings, scads of programs from the years of recitals and performances, journals kept in teenage script, pictures, letters from dear ones, pressed flowers, pointe shoes and keepsakes, have all dusted off corners of my mind that have been closed for quite some time now. I've always been sentimental and yet I try to be a "live in the now" kind of person. This week though I've let myself slip back. Some of the memories have been beautiful, others deeply painful, but all of them have been a sweet reminder of Him.

I've not journaled much recently, but today I lay on my bed journaling away like I did as a teen. How different my scroll is now years later, and the ink rolls from my pen in interrupted strokes. The difference is not just in how I write, or about whom, but rather the security with which I address the page. You see, like everyone of us I was a searching teenager. (What I thought I was looking for, I'm not quite sure!) The words that filled the pages were daily happenings, emotional trappings and more often than not, questions... more than once I penned "I'm so confused".

Fifteen years of experiences later, I'm not confused anymore. The same Truth that I was looking for then is ever present in my life right now. I knew Him to be True then, but I had to have years of dependence upon that Truth to really trust it. It's strength had not been fully tested and It's power was not fully known (still isn't!). But isn't that the beauty of this life? We have the freedom and the ability to completely make our own choices, to listen to the wisdom of those who have gone before, or to rely totally & completely on an invisible safety net...

I wouldn't trade my teen years for anything. Every experience in my life has lead me to where I am now and it is a very good place. The pain has made me stronger and the good memories bolster me in making good memories with my own children.

I would encourage you to take the time every now and then to take a look back... if you let it, it can change your future!

The Wisdom of Disney

"You gotta put your behind in your past"-Pumba

"No, Pumba. It's you've got to put your past behind you."-Timon

My kids love the Lion King, and for good reason. It's funny right? And yet today as I struggled with a shot to the heart from my past, these are the words that came to me. There are wisdom in these words. The past is exactly that: past. It's over. There is nothing you can do to change what has already happened. This does not however mean that you can't change the future. The choices that we make today will shape our futures and the futures of our children. If I choose to dwell on the choices of the past and I do not fully live for today I run the risk of drastically messing up what "could be" for my kids and my family. The same is true of thinking too far into the future. Jesus tells us in His perfect wisdom to "not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (Matthew 6:34 NIV)

:: and so I choose. I choose today. ::

This post part of the 30 minute blog challenge hosted by Steady Mom.

Less Is More

Creative Deprivation
By Amy Dacyczyn

This is an article printed in the Tightwad Gazette that really caught my attention. As she mentions near the end of the article, this is a principle that is for everyone, not just children. I pray you appreciate it as much as I did. Let’s learn to live like no one else…happy tight wadding!
Amy

At a yard sale I attended, a ten-year- old kid was barely visible behind a table piled with GI Joe paraphernalia. Along with about 30 Joe dolls, he was selling his Joe tanks, Joe bazookas, Joe rocket belts and Joe you-name-it.
What struck me was what contempt he seemed to have for the stuff -he was practically giving it away. It was clear that this huge collection, which must have cost several hundred dollars to buy, was now an immense bore to him. When I commented to his parents about the good deals at their son’s table, they just rolled their eyes as if to say “That’s kids for you.”
Increasingly, I see this trend toward excess in children’s lives. A friend, who has one child, says his son is so bombarded with toys from friends and relatives that “I don’t tell him to clean his room-I tell him to shovel it out.”
While we, as kids, might have been devastated to lose a favorite toy, kids today don’t even bother to keep track of their stuff. When a friend found an $80 Game Boy, in his house, he was unable to learn whose it was. Six months later, the ten-year-old owner spotted her toy during a visit. She casually remarked, “Oh, I was wondering where I left that.”
And the excess problem is not just toys. The average kid spends more than four hours parked in front of a TV each day. If there’s nothing good to watch on TV (or cable), they have an unlimited supply of movies and games.
As a result of all this stuff and stimulation, kids regard overload as a normal condition. Anything less- a walk in the woods, making cookies, or sitting in a classroom listening to a teacher- is boring.
In contrast, using a concept I call “creative deprivation” is, in my view, a healthier way to raise children.
The idea behind creative deprivation is that every event should have space around it, so that the event can stand out and be appreciated. A simple example is a frame around a picture, which provides a space to make it stand out from the wall.
Until this century, the space occurred naturally. Entertainment and material goods were hard to come by, so they were appreciated when they came along. A child cherished his few toys, and music was a special event, because it could only be heard when musicians were assembled.
The challenge of modern life is that we have to actively create the space. With mass production, toys are cheap enough to swamp even poorer families. With TV, DVD’s and video games, flashy entertainment can come into every home 24 hours a day.
That’s why the best parents understand that their kids can have too much of a good thing. They place limitations on the stuff and stimulation. They are tough enough to slow down the flow of goodies.
Often people think we refuse to avalanche our kids with toys because we are tightwads. But saving money is NOT the main reason. I just feel there’s nothing sadder than a jaded eight-year-old.
Conversely, it’s delightful to see a kid thrilled by a simple pleasure. During a rare trip to a mall a few years ago, we were shipping for a gift for one of our children, whose birthday falls in May-just before yard-sale season kicks in and just as I’m running out of stuff from the previous season. To distract the kids while Jim went back to the store to pick up the gift and hide it in the car, we popped into an ice-cream shop and I ordered a junior cone for each child, which they consumed in complete silence, savoring every drip. I was very proud of my brood and their ability to enjoy these little treats.
Many parents, seeing their children appreciate junior cones, would buy them cones during each trip to the mall. Soon, seeing the kid’s enthusiasm waning, they would assume they must wow them with banana splits. When those no longer produce the desired effect, they would move up to the jumbo deluxe sundae… and so on, until the kids become impossible to please.
But I see diminished appreciation as a barometer that shows when kids have had too much. Instead of moving up to the banana split, I decrease the frequency of junior cones.
While it’s true I don’t raise my kids this way to save money, saving is a natural by-product of creative deprivation. Not only do I save on the constant expense of the ever-increasing amount of stuff and stimulation, but when I do treat the kids, they get the same wow for less money.
Creative deprivation does have a few rules. Limit the things kids don’t need, but don’t limit the things they do need-such as good nutrition and parenting attention. Second, provide them with alternatives. Our kids have their own “office” in my office where they do artwork, a tree house they can build on with scrap wood, a playhouse in the attic, and a selection of Lego’s and toys that demand creativity. If you limit passive entertainment, kids eventually get beyond the boredom and begin to be creative.

Incidentally, this insight of mine, while brilliant, isn’t new. About 2,500 years ago, the Chinese philosopher Lao-tzu wrote:
Guard the senses
And life is ever full…
Always be busy
And life is beyond hope.

Finally, creative deprivation works for adults too. If you seem to need increasingly expensive thrills and gadgets to keep from being bored, I suggest you step off the merry-go-round. Thought is might seem more boring at first, eventually you’ll come to enjoy a game of checkers with your nine-year-old, trying a new recipe-or, one of Jim’s favorites, watching the freezer defrost.