Thursday, February 10, 2011

It's Not All About Them...

In 2005 a woman named Ayelet Waldman wrote an article for the New York Times (to read the original article click here).  It created quite a stir simply because she wrote:
"I love my husband more than I love my children."
In fact, it created such a stir that she was interviewed on Oprah. This is where I first heard Ayelet's idea of what it means to be a "bad mother".  I loved it so much I recorded it to DVD and later shared it with my MOPS group.  It's a message that's been stirring in my heart for six years. 

Valentines Day always brings up thoughts and convictions that I've pondered since reading her article.  Generally speaking as a society, we have allowed the center of our romantic love to be moved from our husband to our children.  The world which once revolved around the love of our lives, now suddenly orbits around multiple precious yet demanding little ones.  I am certain this transition happens gradually over time and often it happens so slowly both partners are unaware of the shift.  However in the gentle tilting of the scales, the relationships become unbalanced and the romantic love that God intended specifically for our husband is drained in lieu of the consuming care of our children.  In the younger years it's diapering, breastfeeding, nap schedules and gymboree and as they grow it's constant carpools to school, sporting events, ballet, gymnastics, homework etc, etc, etc.  The list goes on and on. 
And then they leave home...
I often dream of the day that we wave good bye to your youngest and though it is filled with bitter sweet emotion I can't help thinking that I will be mostly filled with the joy and excitement of having him to myself once again.
Even now, amidst the draining years of tending to preschoolers I don't want to let my husband become a stranger to me.  I want my children to see the adoration I have for their father and to desire a love like we have when they grow older.  I want them to say "eeewww" when we kiss goodbye, and to roll their eyes when our parting embrace lasts a little longer than normal.  I want them to know that it's not all about them!

So this Valentines Day do something sweet for your SweetHeart and take a moment to asses the relationships in your life.  Your time and energy reflect your priorities, so go ahead and be a "bad mom"!

1 comment:

Kerilyn said...

I agree whole-heartedly, Amy. It's certainly hard to give the same to my husband after the hectic days with our small children. I struggle a lot with that lately. We are so lucky to have grandparents close to us to get those much needed dates in!:) Good post, Amy.

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