An Update

So this morning, I broke my three day juice fast.
This may have been the hardest fast I've ever done.  I'm not so sure it's because of the juicing, but more of the mental attitude that I've had toward it.
You see, as I watched those documentaries that affirmed the things I already knew, it became apparent to me that we need to change our eating.  If we want to live the life that God intended, then we need to take care of the bodies He gave us.  If He made our bodies to function a certain way and we are not caring for them in that way, then something is going to give (our health).  You can't expect a diesel truck to run on regular fuel, so why would you expect your body which was made to function on REAL, RAW foods to function on the processed stuff we put into our mouths each and every day!
A while back our MOPS group had a woman named Amanda Louden come and speak to us.  (She blogs here at "Daily Diner") Her philosophy on eating really struck me then as being important.  However, as I'm sure you know, changing what you eat is not an easy task.  Everything you've been trained to think about food since childhood can't be changed overnight.  Since she spoke we've made some improvements, but nothing like what we should have done.
It think that is why the documentaries have moved me the way they have.  This change has been a long time coming.  You see, the bottom line is this: I am responsible for the things my kids put in their mouths, for their long term health, and for the overall health of our family.  I do the shopping, I do the preparation, I do the cooking and the serving. (and my dear husband helps with the clean up! Yes, I'm blessed)  That is a BIG responsibility.  It's not something that I can relax or let up on.  It's a constant, daily vigil that I must keep.  It's not an area that I can become lazy in because my families future depends on it.  It makes this concept of "what's in a menu" that much more important to me.
So, what does that mean for my Menu Monday posts?  It means I can't skimp by on giving your my "main dish" menus anymore.  It means that I get to be even more creative with the few items that I do cook.  It means that there will be a lot less cooking and a lot less dishes (I can handle that one!) because 51% of each meal will be raw foods.  It means that I will be doing some reading and research for not only recipes, but for the benefits of each of the foods we choose to put in our bodies.  It also means that I will be exploring new stores for new ingredients, and probably shopping a bit more often.  It also means that our "eating out" budget will be transformed into the "eating healthier" budget because let's face it; eating healthy is expensive!  I hope these are ideas that you can get on board with and that you will join me on this adventure of feeding my family as "close to the ground" as possible!

Nothing New

A very wise man once wrote:

"What has been will be again, 
   what has been done will be done again;    there is nothing new under the sun."

This is never more true than in the world of blogging.  There are no "new" ideas. I don't say this to disregard the genius of some people, but rather to point out (mostly to myself) that these things that we write about have been written before.  They may not have used the exact words, maybe sometimes they used better words.  I say it to put into perspective this space for sharing.  There are many Mama's just like me.  If you type in "home made laundry soap", you're gonna get a LOT of recipes.  (There are a lot of other people giving their two cents on how to save two cents!)

Sometimes in the world of blogging we see the giants and it's easy to loose perspective.  I want to be like Ree, I want to have sponsors like Ashley, I want to write a book like Emily, I want to see like Ann, I want, I want, I want...

But there's nothing new under the sun. Even these amazing women in all their God given talent are not giving us something "new".  They are the same ideas presented in newer ways, from a unique perspective maybe, but certainly not "new".

As I share these thoughts (sparked by an interesting tweet from a blogging acquaintance of mine) please know they are more for me than anything else.  Personally I'm glad that there are so many people willing to open up and share from their perspective.  It's what makes life interesting.  (and it's what brings us beautiful things like Pinterest!)

So I leave you with just one thought, if so many are talking, who is left to listen?

Pondering Coupons

Tuesday morning at our MOPS group, two women came to speak about couponing.  A mother/daughter team with a website and a plan... it sounds so good.  I listened attentively and tried to mentally follow their tips and suggestions.  But I gotta admit; I'm having a hard time picturing myself doing this.  I want to, I really want to.  I like saving money!  I guess what I have a hard time wrapping my brain around is the idea of buying things that are brand name.  I buy the "off brand" at discounted stores. I almost always have (and think that my malady may be part genetic!).  There are a few items that I have discovered will not work in generic form, but these are few and far between.  When I glance through the coupon ads I tend to do just that, glance.  You see after years of cutting and slicing and trimming the budget I've found that I don't use MOST of the items they offer coupons for. I like to use vinegar for most of my cleaning purposes... it's cheap and more effective. I use such a small amount of shampoo that one bottle can last me up to two years.  I make my own laundry soap that is inexpensive and I prefer over any store bought equal (plus it's better for my washing machine). I just like doing things the old fashioned way and these coupons are mostly offers on *new* products and ideas, they do me no good!
So when I mentioned to my husband that the speaker had been about couponing... he affirmed me and my wandering thoughts.  It feels good to know that I'm doing what I can to not only save our budget but also to cut down on waste in our home.  If that means that I never have to clip a coupon, well then, I guess I'm okay with that!

Busy...and some ramblings!

How does this happen?  How do our lives get so full?
On days like today it seems like only good intentions to scale back and learn to say no to things that are constantly popping up.  Because even though I'm not as busy as I once was I still don't have time for the things that I want to do.
For example, this space... I love writing and I love sharing here.  Each day as I learn something new I think to myself, "That would be a wonderful lesson to share on my blog." And yet... here it sits... empty, or rather not empty but old. Stale. (Don't you wish that sometimes you could hook your computer up to your brain and just "think" your blog posts into being?)
I often think about other bloggers that regularly update their blogs with great sources of information, helpful tips, decorating ideas, recipes, and all sorts of other tidbits of information.  Most are moms just like me, some of them real writers with published works, a few of them home schooling moms, or at times minister's wives also.  How do they do it?  Are they just more organized? I think they just don't sleep.  They must require less sleep, or have supernatural powers.  I can't imagine the planning and time it takes to stay up with each type of "social media" they must not require much sleep.  I mean really, who can keep a blog rolling, stay in touch with Face Book, Twitter, Instagram, and Google +? (and I'm sure I'm forgetting some others as well!)
I just recently went through my email inbox (that had over 250 emails in it) and "unsubscribed" to the busy.  The ads that I will never get around to looking at, the subscriptions to websites that I don't really care about, and the random mail lists that I somehow became a part of.  Since then I've had three emails in my inbox and it feels good. Clean. Fresh. Simple.
When Jesus was on this earth he spent a lot of his time in cycles. He began these cycles with rest.  Not just a nap, but genuine rest.  Rest in Him.  This was often followed by a time of teaching (either to his disciples, his "followers", or the multitudes that came to him).  If there were miracles to be done along the way, so be it, but most of his time was spent doing those two things; resting and teaching. Simplicity.
How can we simplify our lives?  How can we do all the things that seem to be calling at us from every direction and yet still give honor to Him in the simplicity? It's something I will be pondering in the next few weeks.  Praying and pondering.  Maybe He will bring some clarity. If so, I promise to share okay?

Thwarted

Life is funny. 

You never really know what's coming.  You can plan, dream, anticipate, but what's waiting for you at the end of the tunnel is unknown. If I said it wasn't frustrating I'd be telling a big fat lie.  If I said that the "adventure" of it all is what keeps life interesting, I'd be telling you a half truth.  If I told you that the only thing that's constant and trustworthy in this crazy road called life is God, I'd be telling you the entire truth of the matter but I'm afraid it would sound like a cliche.
This year was supposed to be a year of change.  Saying "No", so that we can eventually say "Yes" to so much more.  Not only does the year seem to be going particularly fast, but as we rounded the half way mark there were obstacles in the way that we were not anticipating. How can you? You budget and plan and do your best, but Life just happens!  And even though we are doing well, removing as many rocks from our path as possible I wonder if we will ever see that light at the end of our tunnel.

That's when I remember...I remember the cliche.  He is constant.  He is trustworthy. No matter what Life throws my way I can weather it because I have Him.

Deep Breath.

So I cinch the budget belt just a little bit tighter and get creative with our menus for a few months knowing that in the grand scheme of things it's not such a big deal.

Breath in, Breath out.

I keep on, keeping on; making meals, changing diapers, cleaning house, bathing children, watering the garden, walk to church, fellowship, love, smile.

Listen.

I close my eyes and the lyrics wash over me like a refreshing rain, especially when she sings them!

"In the middle of my little mess I forget how big I'm blessed."

And they ring so true...because we'll get there. Eventually.

Absent

Summer is always like this. 

 School lets out and we get busy.  That's just how it tends to go in the home of a youth minister!  Whoever coined the phrase "the lazy days of summer" was first of all not married to a youth minister and was certainly not referring to an adult!

I think back to my summer days as a kid and they were glorious...

no school, fewer clothes to wear, sprinklers to run in, plastic wading pools to fill with the hose, metal slides that were too hot to touch, melty fudgesicles dripping down my hands, hand cranking the windows down as I was climbing into a HOT car that had been parked  for a while, sweaty legs sticking to vinyl seats,  picking fresh produce from the garden, shucking corn, swim team practice twice a day, swim meets on the weekends, (and a bucket of KFC to go with that!), climbing "my tree" to kick back and relax, camping trips with family and friends, church BBQ's in our back yard, fireworks, parades, long car trips to see family, floating the river,... the list goes on and on.


(This is me and my daughter in front of the house I grew up in!)



  These are the kinds of memories I want my kids to have too. I want the "lazy days of summer" to ring true to them even in the midst of camps, teenagers, and what sometimes seems to me like chaos.  I want them to smell sunscreen and be transported back to their days as a kid when mom made smoothie popsicles, and they ran in the sprinklers till they shivered! I'm sure with four kids my mother was more than frazzled on many occasions, but I never knew it. All I knew were the "lazy days of summer", the care free, pure love of simplicity.

  So even though summer is always like this and being in youth ministry makes it busier, my goal is to make our summer feel like "home" too. A place where my kids can come back to in their memories and dwell for a while!

Mother's Day

When reflecting on Mother's Day my thoughts initially always drift the same way... One Day just doesn't seem like enough.  I think about all that a mother does working hard to maintain balance and peace, providing nurture and nutrition, stability and strength.  A Mother's job is 24/7 from the moment of conception till she passes from this world.  It's tireless and stressful and some might say that it's a thankless job.  One Day.  It doesn't seem like enough does it?

But then I think about the moment I became "momma" for the first time, second time and third time.  I remember feeling the life within me stretching me more than just literally.  The tears of joy at seeing their sweet faces.  The snuggles, random hugs, scribbled notes, "surprise" creations, thankful prayers directed each night beginning with "Thank You for my mommy..." and the countless little things that happen each and every day and I am overwhelmed by the joy that I find in my job.  And I realize that Mother's Day can come and go without notice because my thanks come in the form of those "little things"; his fingers curled around mine, that she comes to me first when she's hurting, that exclamation of "Momma, you're the BEST!" when I simply pull a homemade popsicle from the freezer. 365 days a year from now till the day I die it will be "Mother's Day".

::sunshine and rain::

Matthew 5:45

"He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous."

C.S. Lewis wrote a book called The Problem of Pain. It was his answer to that age old question that all have asked,


"If we serve a Good God, why is there suffering and pain in this world?"



Today, I too ask and struggle with this same question.  And though I know the answer, it still grips my heart when I see strong believers who love and serve our Mighty God in turmoil.

Sweet Jessica was born on Saturday.  She weighs only two pounds and six ounces.  She has many difficulties ahead of her including sever hydrocephalus.

Please pray for her and her family.  

Mr. Mom

To all the Stay At Home Moms out there; I dedicate this song to you!

May you always be appreciated for all that you do...

(Listen close at the end of the song. My favorite lyric is the last line!)

Audrey

Oh dear friends... If I haven't shared my love for Audrey with you yet, I will most certainly share it with you today.  I've been anxiously awaiting the arival of this new children's book dedicated to the icon that is Audrey Hepburn... and now it's here! As soon as I get my copy I'm sure I will be sharing a glowing review with you! (and who knows, maybe I'll even give away a copy to one lucky reader! More to follow!)




Here are a few of her fan sites in case you need to know more about this beautiful woman: Audrey Hepburn.

Just Keep Swimming

My author friend Kathi has a blog post today that I really relate to... in it she talks about Dory.  You know, that electric blue, sweet, funny, short term memory loss fish from Finding Nemo...
Come on who could forget Dory? ...well other than maybe Dory...

She sings a song, and doesn't this song just really serve as a great reminder?

I'm going to keep swimming, because it seems like life can pile up. Schooling the kids, Girl Scouts, Gymnastics, Ballet, Piano lessons, Making Aprons, Keeping up with the house, Reading for Systematic Theology, MOPS, Ministry...help... I'm drowning!  So what do I do?

 Just Keep Swimming, Swimming, Swimming...

...The New Year...

It's New Year's Eve and I've just celebrated the coming of the new year with my three young children, (We celebrate on East Coast time so they don't have to stay up so late!)

I've spent some time in the past few days just pondering.  The New Year always does this to me.  I remember one year sneaking off from a party to be by myself so I could have my first moments alone to journal, pray and consecrate myself to Him.  My dearest friends came to find me, and it was a joy to share in the fellowship of prayer that midnight.  I will not soon forget how special that beginning was.

What is it about the turning of a new leaf?

What makes us desire the fresh start each year?

Especially now, the solitude is sacred.  The silence almost overwhelms.

Goals, aspirations,desires, dreams...

these are the thoughts that swim around in our grey matter during this season.

And rightly so. 

Isn't it just like Him to provide an annual reminder?  The reminder that it's okay, even good to begin again, to start fresh and new. 

Sleepy eyes creep into view, and my muddled thoughts that seemed so worthy now seem to be a vapor of nonsense. So I usher in the New Year this year alone, in silence, in reflection.

"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in Your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer."

Psalm 19:14

November

While dear friends are piled high with snow...

I've just picked the last of my garden ripe tomatoes!

 (tomatillos curtisy of my friend's garden)

Such is the weather of California!!!

picture taken November 18th 2010

Giving Thanks

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day. 

 In the "holiday rush", I feel this beautiful day gets so very overlooked!  Even the Thanksgiving Blend coffee from Starbucks is off the shelves already making room for Christmas Blend.  I have nothing against Christmas, but the Thanksgiving holiday often seems to me like a neglected middle child sandwiched between two candy hoarding money making holidays.  It's not given full recognition or remembrance like it ought.  We, as Americans, eat to the point of gluttony, and at times pause to say grace, but how often do we remember?  Do we as believers realize the sacrifice that came early on when worshipping God was of first importance? 

The Pilgrims who sailed to America on the Mayflower came to be free of the religious tyranny of England.  They shed all comfort, left friends and family behind and boarded a ship to pursue freedom.  I can't imagine the fear of the unknown as well as the harshness of the wilderness, and the illnesses that greeted those first wandering freedom-seekers.  They left England with 102, and a short seven months later had a mere 51 among them; almost half of those were children.  After a plentiful summer and friendly relations with the Indian's it's no wonder to me they felt the need to celebrate and give thanks to God!  Imagine the joy of having full pantries, plenty of wood and furs ready to be shipped to England!  I can almost smell the lobster pies, ducks, turkeys, nuts and berries and the five large deer the Indians brought to contribute to the feast!  It was truly a time of  Thanks Giving.  

In reading the book, Meet the Pilgrim Fathers to my children, I'm left with this question:

  How do we instill gratitude?  How do we teach thankfulness? 

We speak it,
                    live it,
                              pray it... 



                 Happy Thanksgiving!




linked to Ann at A Holy Experience

When He's Gone...

This week, he's gone. I really don't like it when he's gone. I know that he's there doing great things, and helping to further the Kingdom; but I miss him so much.

A wedding day is so full of unknowns. You stand there on that day all fancied up, exchanging rings, and words and promises and lighting candles that symbolize the unity. Preacher says the "two will become one flesh" and you smile with the joy of being the half of this whole new you. And yet you don't realize exactly what it means...

It means that when he's gone you ache.

When he's away, you can't sleep.

When he's not here, you aren't either... not fully.

Interesting isn't it? I wonder if this is how Adam felt, when God noted that "It's not good for man to be alone..."

And so I pray. And I wait. And life moves on, and so we live it.

We will welcome him home soon and when he arrives we will have made ready his castle. And dear friends, I will be ready!

Ugly

This is my least favorite decoration in my house.

My husband decided that we were needing a visual reminder of the Ugly, so he had the kids help him pick up rocks from outside and put them in my favorite vase. When they didn't all fit, we added a secondary pitcher. Yuk. He then labeled them, with tape and note paper. Double Yuk.

Each rock represents $100 of debt. Each rock is the picture of slavery. (Proverbs 22:7) For my sweet 6 year old daughter it represents what's standing between her and a trip to Disneyland. Each time we pay off $100 on the Visa bill, or Sallie Mae (Student Loans) we take a rock out of the vase and toss it back into the yard where it belongs.

It's a good reminder and a solid motivation for me. This debt, this slavery is UGLY! Our good friend Dave already told us this and gave us a plan for removing it, but sometimes hard to remember when you want.

And yet, His promise was this:

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Matthew 6:25-34

We are learning the lessons of less want and less worry.

And we are getting rid of the Ugly, one rock at a time!

Embark

It's time dear friends!

It's time for me to embark on an incredible journey. This year we have decided to home school our oldest daughter Grace. (see our decision for last year here)
This means so much more than I ever really even imagined.
It's not just about schedule changes, balancing school and home, or even about lesson plans. It's about transformation from the inside out. With the decision to home school I feel as though I am opening myself up for intense scrutiny. With the decision to home school, I feel like I've taken on the task of "extreme parenting". I've always held to the idea that as parents we are trusted to train our children. As my children get older and the ways we train become more focused, more intense I feel the responsibility increase and become a heavier weight.
I feel like I am being turned inside out. Who I am as a person, as a mother, a homemaker is going to shape who these little people become. I've always known this, but it's even more apparent to me now.
And so, as I embark, this is my prayer:

Psalm 139:23

"Search me O God and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."

R & R

My eyes fluttered open this morning and I breathed deep. Reaching over to check the time on my phone I smiled as a number that I normally see come and go quickly in the midst of daily routine shone brightly from my screen. Then another unexpected joy as the phone vibrated alive with a "face time" request from my man. Ignoring my puffy eyes I quickly answered to see that he too was still in bed 145 miles away. He was enjoying "sleep in day" at youth camp, and I was enjoying "sleep in day" here at my local mom and dad's house! (Sometimes it's the little things in life!)

I feel like I've been absent lately. Not just in word, but in mind too. I have a blog post in the draft section entitled "Similarities Between My Blog and My Baby." They seem like they both take a lot of time, energy and brain power. Sometimes I wonder if I really have it in me. I look at the women that blog daily and they seem like Super Mom to me. They can do it all! I love sharing recipes, tips that I've picked up, random thoughts and my joys of being a homemaker. And then other days I think about blogging and feel about it the way I feel when I have to change another poopy diaper...drudgery.

So, for today, for now, (maybe just for summer), I'm giving myself permission to take some R & R. A chance to step back and not be on a schedule that pressures me into staring at this glowing screen pondering what to write.
I'll see you when I see you, when the muse comes my way. In the mean time please feel free to search through the archives! There's plenty there!

This post part of Tuesday's Unwrapped!

Emotional

Three simple colors; red, white and blue,

and yet they provoke a sense of pride.

Simply organized stars and well patterned stripes,

but somehow it makes me tear up.

It's just fabric blowing in the wind,

however I see sacrifice.

It's only a song,

but it's history is deep.

We call it the "Fourth of July",

but really it's Independence Day.

So much pride, so many tears, so many sacrifices

have peppered our history to give us our independence!

Happy Independence Day.

One Hundred

If you had a hundred pennies, you would have a dollar.

(And we all know a penny saved is a penny earned!)

If you had a hundred hugs, you would know you were loved.

If you had a hundred minutes, you could read a good book.

If you had a hundred things you love, you could give a few away!

If you had a hundred recipes, you would want to share the best.

If you had a hundred naps you could dream big dreams.

If you had a hundred ideas, you would find some that work for you.

If you had a hundred thoughts, you might stumble upon some truth.

And if you have a hundred blog posts, you might have a little celebration!

Thank you for reading, and thank you for celebrating with me today!

(Today I'm linked to Works for Me Wednesday and also the 30 Minute Blog Challenge)