31 Days: Grandmas Wisdom~ The Best Time

The day we had lunch with my Grandma for her 90th birthday was when I decided to participate in 31 Days.  She shared with me a piece of wisdom.  It's these words that she spoke that made me want to write about her life and the reflections that have come over these past 31 days.  She said to me more than once....

"Amy, these are the best times of your life; enjoy them!"

Looking back on her life like I have for the past month has shown me the truth of her words.  She took great delight in raising her children.  Four beautiful little people, two boys, two girls, and a loving husband.  They never had a lot of money, but were never in desperation either.  They were a  family full of love for one another, always looking for the good of others and the betterment of the community around them.  God brought them through the good times and the bad times, and though there were seasons that she walked through the "valley of death" I know that God has been with her the entire time gently guiding.

There's a saying goes like this, "Hindsight is 20/20", but no one has ever said that the hindsight needs to be your own! I've always been a fan of learning from the past, not only your own but others as well.  So when Grandma encourages me to enjoy these "best times" of my life I plan on doing exactly that.

Thank you for joining me on this journey of my Grandmother's wisdom. I pray you have gleaned much from the sharing of her story.

31 Days: Grandma's Wisdom~ Remembering

As we get closer to the end of  our 31 Days, I get to the part of writing about Grandma that I enjoy the most.  I love it because it's thinking back on my childhood and my memories of Grandma and Grandpa and the farm where they lived.  I love them because they're mine.  My memories.  Not told by another and I have to imagine in the details, but what really happened from my smaller self perspective.
For example, my dad speaks of the tomato fields that used to be across from the farm and how he would sneak the salt shaker and linger in the tomato fields eating ripe from the vine tomatoes.  I have no recollection of these things, but I do remember playing hide and seek with my sister.  And though the barn was to scary to hide in I did lay under the grape vines hidden by the tall grasses and the vines that grew long.  I remember laying there smelling the earth and the sweet smell of grapes.  Tiny white grapes, sweet and juicy.  I remember forgetting all about hide and seek and just resting and eating.  That's what I remember.
I remember Grandma's long painted fingernails and the tap tap tap sound they made on the table as we played family games together.  Or how she could shuffle cards like no other, which was amazing to me as a child.  Or how she always shook her glass right before taking a drink, clinking the ice around to chill her beverage just a little more on those hot summer days.
These are just a few of my memories of Grandma...

31 Days: Grandma's Wisdom~ Early Bird

"The early bird gets the worm."

"Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy wealthy and wise."

Remember these sayings?  I've heard them all my life mostly because I really like my bed! My mother would always come in to wake me long before I was due to get up only because it took me so long to actually get out of bed. (My poor mother, I exasperated her!)
This was not the case with my Grandma.  Whenever we went to visit them in their little farm house, my sister and I usually slept on the hide-a-bed out in the living room. We knew not to stay up late at their house because come 4:00 AM the next morning both Grandma and Grandpa would be up.  Oh, they tried to be quiet but old habits die hard.  They would tip toe into the kitchen and flip on the lights streaming light across the foot of our bed.  And then I lay there, listening.  Grandma made coffee, Grandpa made toast, and they talked as Grandpa read stories from the daily news paper.  It was sweet.  And though I tried to pretend to be the ever tired teenager who didn't want to be disturbed in the morning, the truth was I enjoyed the routine.  
Sometimes when I have to get up early, I think of my Grandma and it makes it just a little bit easier to only hit the snooze button one time!

31 Days: Grandma's Wisdom~ Persimmons

My Mom made persimmon cookies.  I can almost smell them baking.  A hint of cinnamon, the hearty pulp of the persimmons being mashed in the food processor.  Whenever I think of persimmons I always thing of Grandma.  There was a great big persimmon tree in the front yard at Grandma's house, and whenever we were there and they were in season we were always given some.  I don't know how, but they seemed to be "in season" every time we were there!  And Grandma always had an abundance.  She gave them away like they were going out of style!  I have never really seen or heard of people using persimmons other than my Grandma.  I'm sure there are some really great uses for them.  But for me, seeing this fruit always takes me back to Grandma's house!

Here's a recipe for persimmon cookies.  It's not the exact recipe my Mamma uses, but it is very close.

• Ingredients

• 2 ripe persimmons, pureed
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
• 1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 egg
• 1 cup white sugar
• 1/2 cup butter
• 1 cup raisins (optional)
• 1 cup chopped walnuts (optional, but not nearly as good if you leave them out!)

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (180 degrees C).
2. Dissolve baking soda in persimmon pulp and set aside.
3. Sift flour, spices and salt together, set aside.
4. Cream together butter or margarine and sugar until fluffy, beat in egg and persimmon. Stir in dry ingredients. Stir in nuts and raisins.
5. Drop by teaspoonfuls onto greased cookie sheet. Bake for 15 minutes.

31 Days: Grandma's Wisdom~ Smells like Roses

The sense of smell is pretty amazing.

Just one whiff of the scent of "rose" and I am transported back to my Grandmother's house where I stand in her bathroom snooping around in her make-up cabinet!  I would open up the jar of rose scented hand cream, pink and silky, and I'd smell deeply.  Sometimes I fear I sniffed so long I wound up getting some on my nose!  I must admit though, I liked it when that happened because it made the smell last longer.  I was always nervous about being "caught", even though I know she didn't mind.
I digress.  Grandma loves the smell of roses.  She even planted a number of varieties in their spacious back yard.  Avon and other companies have tried to capture the smell of an actual rose, but there's a difference in the scent that they bottle. Have you noticed?  Whenever I smell it, it's that bottled smell that always makes me think of her.

She loves nick knacks, and would collect items like perfume bottles.  I specifically remember the ones that she had on a shelf above the toilet.  I think a lot of them came from Avon as she was fond of their products.  I actually had a lot of fun looking through the images that came up when I typed in "Avon Perfume, Owl" into the search bar!  My Grandma had so many of those.  She had a three tiered shelf up above the toilet in their bathroom (the only bathroom in their three bedroom home).  It was FULL of these perfume bottles.  Every shape and size. Some still had perfume in them and I can remember as a child standing on the toilet lid being so very careful to put them back exactly how they were when I found them... (the dust spots let me know where they belonged!)  I loved looking at and smelling her collection!

I wonder if she knew how much I loved them, or how fond my memories when I smell the scent of rose.  I know this was unintentional on her part, but I'm sure glad that I have these memories from visiting her house.  It make me reflective and excited to plan for what I hope my grandchildren remember me by!

31 Days: Grandma's Wisdom~ Pain

This is by far the hardest post to write in my 31 day series.
It is the unmentionable.  It's the taboo topic.  It's the darkest time in her life.

She had known pain in her life time, loosing a mother, an abusive step-father, working to put herself through school, fear of dying in childbirth...she was certainly no stranger to heartache.

But I promise you, nothing compares to the pain she experienced the day she found out her daughter had been killed in an automobile accident.   Mary was 38, and Grandma was 61, but age truly has nothing to do with it.  No matter how old, your children will forever be your baby.  Mary's death changed her.  The sparkle in her eyes dimmed, the full body chuckle was not so full, and the sorrow was not touched by the alcohol consumed.

The sentiments of all who have dealt with this kind of loss were expressed as my dad and Grandpa went to visit the grave site a year after her passing.  My Grandpa, the strong silent type, succumbed to sobbing and uttered these words, "It just isn't supposed to happen this way.  The child is not supposed to die before the parent.  It is just too much to bear.  This type of hurt is just too deep."

31 Days: Grandma's Wisdom~ R & R

She married a hard working man.
He had a work ethic like none other, and a drive to support his family.  This meant that when work was scarce he was working more than one job.  Times were tough and when they first arrived in California his brothers and father lived and worked beside him.  As his brothers eventually married and moved out, and his own family was rapidly growing, the monthly expenses increased.  He continued to work two jobs until about 1958.

Grandpa had retired by the time I came along.  But some of my earliest memories of Grandpa come from sitting on his lap in the easy chair asking him about his life.  I would ask him about the Rail Road and his job there.  I was fascinated that this old wrinkled man had worked so hard to put up and maintain so many miles of rail back in his day.  Almost as if asking him to prove that he did it, I would beg him to flex his muscles for me.  It never ceased to amaze me how his bicep would swell into this softball sized knot of hard rock muscle! (Almost like Popeye when he ate his spinach).
I loved to hear my dad tell the story of Grandpa on the line.  He speaks of how he was surrounded by young men, hot in the California sun taking their shirts off to stay cool and yet in Grandpa's wisdom, he would wear his undershirt, shirt and handkerchief all day.  The young men thought him foolish, and would tease him, but he took it all in stride smiling and working beside them, knowing they would understand soon.  You see, as the day grew hotter and he would perspire, the breeze would blow cooling the sweat on Grandpa's shirt, and the young men received less relief because their sweat had evaporated in the hot sun. Wisdom gained from experience!
This was the man my Grandma chose to marry.  Ever vigilant, providing for family, working hard and living with integrity.

31 Days: Grandma's Wisdom~ Land

When anyone says "Grandma and Grandpa's House", I picture the farm.  Little yellow house with a small white porch.  Cream colored chiffon curtains hanging in the front window, shaded by the giant tree that drops rose bud pine cones  in the front yard.  Small fish pond and a gravel drive way.  This is what comes to my mind.  It's the only home I ever knew for them.  It looks different now, older, empty, worn down.  But when they first moved there it looked even more different than what I remember from growing up.
Situated on three acres of land the farm was a wonderful transition from city life they had known. They'd lived in the city of Stockton since Grandpa got home from the war. They were in a few different houses over those eleven years, but finally when Don hit high school they realized it was not where they wanted to be any more.  They moved 15 miles out of town into a two bedroom house.  There was a barn, a one car garage, as well as other small buildings for farm animals.  I wonder if Grandpa and Grandma felt free again?  They both grew up on farms, working the land and enjoying a slower pace of life.  I wonder if even three acres felt more like "home" than they'd felt in a long time.
My dad said the place felt large to them; but it's hard to imagine a two bedroom home for six people feeling large!  The kids spent that entire first summer exploring their property and the neighborhood around them.  Grandpa set to work making many improvements over the years, adding a third bedroom, an over sized two car garage, back patio and laundry room.  It was hard work to keep up with the land and the animals that they acquired, but Grandma and Grandpa had never been afraid of hard work and enjoyed the labor of love in maintaining their property.
One of my favorite stories as a kid was hearing my dad tell of some of his first impressions of the house.  Want to know what I remember most?  I remember my dad telling me that everything in the house was painted either pink or green.  The prior owners must have had a preoccupation with the two colors or maybe they got them on sale at the hardware store, because every room was decked out in the pink and green combo!  I always laughed when he got to that part of the story.
There were so many memories made in that home.  I'm excited to share with you some of them in the coming days.
I believe there are seasons to life.  Seasons of sorrow, and pain.  Seasons of joy and of laughter.  Seasons of toil and seasons of harvest.
I truly believe moving to the farm was a great season for my Grandparents.

31 Days: Grandma's Wisdom~Expansion

So Grandpa came home in November of 1945.  They wasted no time in getting back to life as they knew it, and in November of 1946, my dad was born.  Two years later they added another daughter.  Now a family of six, their life was full, and their family quickly expanding.  Grandpa's dad was living with them as well, so their small home in the town of Stockton was quite cozy. 
What was life like for her as she raised her four young children?  Donny starting school, Mary trying to be the "big girl", Dale toddling about the house, and baby Lois needing a bottle every few hours!  She must have been exhausted.  And yet, compared to all that she has been through this is such a small trial. She knew this, and took it all in stride.

31 Days: Grandma's Wisdom~ Homecoming

November 26, 1945


A day she will never forget.
This is the part of the story that warms me through and through.  The war was over, and he was coming home. They dared to hope, and their hope was rewarded. They would exchange dimes at last. His precious baby girl that he last saw at ten days old was now 27 months & Donny, just shy of four years old.  
Grandma wasn't going to be alone anymore.  The life that they began together would finally settle in to something "normal".  Can you feel the anticipation? It's almost tangible to me.
Maybe she met him at a train station, maybe at the bus depot or possibly at an airport nearby.  The details are not important... what matters is that he came to her.  I would imagine their embrace lasted forever and their kiss could not contain the passion their hearts held.  He was home. A decorated war hero.  With 6 honors to his name.


::Good Conduct Medal
::World War 2 Victory Medal
::Asiatic Pacific Campaign medal
::Philippine Liberation Ribbon
::Bronze Star
::Lapel Button, given to sharp shooters


Her Wayne.  Different, changed by war, but home.

31 Days: Grandma's Wisdom~ Alone

I know how I feel when he's gone.  And I've been lucky!  When he travels for work my husband is only gone for a week at the most.  I know others are not so lucky.  That's why when I close my eyes and try to picture my Grandma during this time my eyes burn with tears and my heart starts to ache inside of my chest.
Grandpa traveled back to Fort Ord and was deployed to the Pacific immediately, joining another company of men.  The letters coming home were sporadic at best.  Not because he was not writing, but because they never knew when the mail would actually make it out.  Sometimes she would get one letter, other times she would get three or four on the same day.  All written days apart, but arriving together.  Two children, two and under will keep anyone busy and I'm sure that's what she focused her mind on.  But with news of the war raging all around you, how do you not worry?  Daily there were lists of men killed in combat, injured soldiers returning home irreparably damaged both mentally and physically.
How many times a day did she reach up and caress the dime hanging from her necklace?  When her wedding ring caught on a thread did a lump catch in her throat?  When she saw him so clearly reflected in the face of her young son, was it too much for her heart to hold?
Stability and strength.  It's what she had to be as she parented alone.

**After reading my post, my Dad sent me an email kindly correcting my misunderstanding of this time.  She was indeed not alone, but had her kind and patient Father-In-Law there with her during this time.  A man who lost his wife as she gave birth to their seventh child, was certainly understanding and supportive of my Grandma during the time that Grandpa was gone!

31 Days: Grandma's Wisdom~ Scare

January, 1944

Blood.  Lots of it.
She's hemorrhaging and fear grips her mind.  The baby. Donny.  Who will take care of them?  Wayne, why dear God isn't he here?  His company has been quarantined there are Fort Ord, ready to ship out any day. Will her children be orphaned?
She's at the hospital and family calls the Red Cross.  They, in turn, speak with his military commander and although his company is prepped for departure, he alone is held back.  They go on without him and he travels to her side instead of overseas.  Present for the birth of his second child.  She is beautiful.  A daughter. Mamma is fine, bleeding controlled.
Soaking in every minute of their time together, knowing it won't last long, 10 days in fact.  He holds her as she cradles little Mary in her arms, and Donny pulls on his pant leg.  She must be strong.  Don't beg him to not go.  He's a proud man, a man willing to serve his country. Must. Be. Strong.
The courage she had to muster to say the words "goodbye" with a ten day old infant in her arms, the prayers uttered for his safety from the deepest part of her being, the determination to be strong for him.  My grandmother was not alone in these.
A generation of courageous and strong woman were being built as their men headed off for war...

31 Days: Grandma's Wisdom~ Fort Ord

After enlisting in the United States Army, my Grandpa was sent to Fort Ord for his training.  Since they were living in French Camp, California they were lucky that he was only about 140 miles from them. During his time at Fort Ord he was able to get a few weekends off.  Grandma was determined to see him and for his son to be with his father as much as possible.  I'm sure the emotions were heightened also by the pregnancy hormones of expecting their second child as well. They had a car, so she traded for gas rations every chance she got, saving them for when he had a weekend pass.  Sugar?  Who needed sugar?  Not when there was a husband 140 miles from home about to be deployed!

This picture at Fort Ord is not one of my Grandfather's company,
but was taken around the same time that he was there.

Grandpa was being trained communications.  It was his job to connect the radio wires to ensure the communication stayed open between the front lines and the back lines.  He was also training to be an artillery spotter within his position. I'm sure he didn't share this information in great detail with my Grandma, for his job (like any job during war time) was a dangerous one. He was paired with a team mate, to work side by side running wires together.  They were training around the clock, preparing for the worst.  They ate together, slept together, worked together, sweat together, and possibly even worried together.  So when his opportunity to leave for the weekend came, I'm sure Grandma and Donny were a sight for sore eyes.  How would it be to hold the woman you love not knowing if you were ever going to have the chance to hold her again...  This was is life at Fort Ord.
And then I put myself in her shoes.  Chasing after a toddler, middle swelling making everything just a little more difficult.  When she lay down at night and smelled his lingering scent on the pillow case did she shed a single tear or flood her pillow?  The letters coming in the mail frequently, but not frequently enough for the one left behind.  As she prepared meals for herself and Donny, did she occasionally forget and set the table for three?  Was she packed and ready to go days before it was time to leave to see him? I would have been.  It's often times easier for the one who does the going, the one who has a job to occupy their thoughts and actions.  But for the one left behind... worry... fear...daily routine...anxiety, swirling in her mind like cream being stirred into coffee.  Infusing her life.
But she is strong.  She's determined.  She perseveres.

31 Days: Grandma's Wisdom~Dimes

It was time. 

Grandpa had joined the Army and was being sent to Fort Ord.  Little Donny was 18 months and Grandma was pregnant again.  I'm sure life was a little bit overwhelming for Grandma. as she thought about him leaving.  So when Grandpa made these dimes and placed them in her hands I wonder the emotion that flooded her .  His had her birth year.  Hers had his birth year.  He had drilled holes in them and put an extra link in hers so it would hang nicely on the delicate chain around her neck.  His had to be a bit larger in order to fit on the chain with his dog tags.  The hope was to exchange them again once he came back.  They knew the odds were not in their favor,  but they dared to hope, and this was a sign of that hope.

31 Days: Grandma's Wisdom~ New Life

October 9th 1942

A woman cries out, no mother to hold her hand.  Sweat, tears, and the mess of birth brings forth the cry of an infant.  "It's a boy!" they say.  A healthy baby boy.  And as she looks into the face of her son, the emotion wells inside.  What a time to be born.  War was not just among them, it was raging.  She sees such hope in this tiny little life, and yet such fear surrounds not just a nation, but now the world.  Grandpa's beside her now, and together they marvel at the mystery of this new beginning wondering just what his precious life will hold.

31 Days: Grandma's Wisdom~ Work

(This is a continuation of my Grandmother's life story.  For more posts about Grandma, click on this link.)

...Life was not easy.  They found jobs as they went, traveling from Calexico up to Los Angeles where they visited with family, and then on to the French Camp area outside of Stockton.  Trading for gas rations wherever they could, working the fields harvesting crops and barely making ends meet, was daily life for this newly wed couple.  It was the summer of 1942 and Grandpa finally got a job working in the ship yard in Stockton, but it still wasn't enough to make ends meet.  I imagine the excitement and also a little bit of fear as Grandma realized on their journey north that she was with child.  So my Grandpa, the work horse, took up a second job at International Harvester working on the tractor assembly line.  Though it was exhausting, they felt lucky for him to have work. They lived in a number of homes from the time they left Oklahoma till they reached Stockton, renting whatever space they could.  But I'm sure with her belly swelling with life she was more than ready to start putting down some roots. Determined as ever to make a home for the family she and Grandpa were about to begin.

31 Days: Grandma's Wisdom~ Tacos

Growing up in Oklahoma my Grandmother had never had a taco.  It wasn't until they lived on the border there in Calexico, California that she tasted her first taco.  When she shared this with me again the other day I caught a glimpse of myself in her statement.  As she took a bite she thought to herself, "I could make this!"  And thus began a life long enjoyment of tacos!

(On a side note, my husband's grandmother had a beautiful fascination with burritos.  Any leftovers could be made over into ingredients for a burrito!  What a sweet and wonderful woman she was... but that's for another 31 Days!)


My dad and I had a conversation about Grandma's tacos the other day and it was fun to hear him talk about how she made them.  As was the norm for back then everything was done full fat!  She would cook the shells in oil and then lay them to drain on newspaper.  My dad said you couldn't eat one of Grandma's tacos with out that orange grease running down your hands and dripping onto your plate...Mmmm.  Now that, my friends is how a taco is done!

31 Days: Grandma's Wisdom~ California Bound

This post is a part of a series in the 31 Day challenge, to see more of these posts click on THIS link!

It's January of 1942 and the newlyweds begin the long trip to sunny California.  I know the thought crossed her mind at least once or twice, "What was I thinking?" You see, it wasn't just her and her husband in the car out for a Sunday drive now.  It was a new father-in-law, and three brothers-in-law, her and her groom all piled into the Chevy for days upon days.  Not like road trips of today, it took them a long time as they would drive town to town, working as needed to earn money for food, gasoline, and shelter.  The second World War was in full force and rations were scarce, gasoline and rubber two of the resources they needed most in their journey, were at a premium.
Though they knew it would not be their final destination the family stopped in Calexico, California to work and save up money to continue on.  The men were able to get shift work at a factory there.  Grandma knew it was a blessing that they were able to find jobs.  And though it meant them all taking turns sleeping in their one bed, she was grateful.

A problem arose however when she realized that she didn't have a clock to wake them up for their next shift.  Any and all metal was being used for the war and clocks were not allowed. What to do?  It was during one of their trips into Mexico that the solution presented itself.  While shopping across the border they happened upon a clock!  Knowing it would be confiscated if they tried to bring it home, Grandpa turned off the alarm and fastened it to the bottom of the car!
Thanks to his creative thinking they made it over the border and to work on time!

31 Days: Grandma's Wisdom~ Wedding Bells

This post is a part of the 31 Day challenge, to see more of these posts click on THIS link!

Oh how I wish I had my Grandma and Grandpa's wedding picture!  I'm sure it's buried in a box somewhere a midst the many treasures of her past.  I don't ever recall seeing it though, even when she and Grandpa were still at the old farm.  I remember lots of other pictures in the hall way and displayed throughout their home. (but I suppose when you've been married as long as they were you have plenty of other pictures to display!)

They dated for less than a year.  When the time came to move from Oklahoma, Grandma was either in or she was out.  She opted for the adventure and tied the knot with Grandpa.
The wedding was not a large affair, but it was certainly a celebration.  

On December 20th 1941 they said I do.  

She was 19 years young and he was only 25.  They had a number of young friends that were dedicated to making their wedding day something to remember!  As was the custom back then, after the wedding was over but before they could go to the reception their friends separated them on the grounds of "Charivari" or better known as Shivaree!  They took them to separate locations and made them play silly games, and pulled pranks on them (one of those being the removal of labels from their canned goods!)  When the fun and games had ended or rather, when Grandma and Grandpa had finally had enough, Grandpa was made to push Grandma in a wheel barrow back to the reception!  All in good fun, these memories made for many laughs in years to come.
I asked Grandma one time if she was angry that they had taken the labels off of her food supply.(after all, times were tough and canned foods were not cheap.)
She simply answered, "Nah, it just made dinner that much more fun! Every night was a surprise.  Didn't know if you were gonna get green beans with dinner or peaches!"

...That's my Grandma for you...

31 Days: Grandma's Wisdom~Sweet hearts

This post is a part of the 31 Day challenge, to see more of these posts click on THIS link!

She and Roy had dated a few times.
He had a brother...and she had a friend.  They thought it only reasonable to arrange a double date.
A picnic, a country drive in the old Chevy, Cokes, burgers, maybe a movie at the cinema or a drive in movie, any of those could have been the scenario for this blind date.  I picture grandma and her girlfriend getting ready.  Curls, high heels, and lots of laughs.

The theater near their home (built in 1927)

The boys pull up in the car and butterflies tickle tummies.  Introductions are made and the date follows, but over the course of the evening the sparks don't fly between the set up blind date.  Grandma's friend didn't make a love connection with young Wayne.  And though Grandma and Roy and gone before, there was a smolder burning with someone else.  You see she left that night with Roy, but when she came back she was with Wayne.  To hear her tell it, they "switched partners"!  Wayne, handsome, hard working, muscles as hard as rocks Wayne.  I don't know if Roy was too distracted by Grandma's friend to even take notice of the fact that his girl had her eyes trained on his brother, but that's how I picture it.  Two couples each sitting side by side, but making eye contact across the table wondering how this would all play out! Oh to have seen the events of that evening take place!
Here is what I know and have gleaned from hearing that story over and over.  That night, my Grandma met an amazing man.  They fancied one another something fierce, and then they held on for the ride.  Life would take Grandma and Grandpa on an amazing adventure, and they went on that journey from that day forward together.  I'm excited to share with you where life took them over the next few years...